Warnell & Sara

I met Sara when she was in Undergrad @ Imacculata college. She went to school with a friend who I have known since 7th grade, so over the years through our mutual friend I would see her from time to time. We were always friendly (she's a very pleasant person) but there was no romance. She always had a boyfriend, and commitment was the last thing on my mind @ that age. A few years after her graduation we're both out for our mutual friend's birthday. We were @ the Fox and The Hound in KOP enjoying cocktails to celebrate. After a few swigs of liquid courage, I made my way over to her and she seemed really excited. Bright and pleasant as she always is, I instantly felt calm around her; her warmth was palpable. We exchanged numbers that night and started to chat on the phone and over email. About 2 weeks later, she was having some friends over and asked if I would help her move furniture around her home. I agreed, and our first date involved her on her knees... mopping the kitchen floor and me with a vacuum cleaner. Shit doesn't GET more romantic! But, it was the most fun I ever had cleaning. It got late and I ended up spending the night and even managed to behave myself. We had the party the next day which went well for the most part -- not to be sexist, but whenever you assemble 8 or more girls there WILL be drama. The end of the evening came and I went to kiss her goodbye and she cried. So I stayed. That party was four years ago. I'm not leaving. Ever.

An even LATER Update: Damien and Jian

On Friday, March 27th Damien and Jian were married in NYC!!
They really (delightfully) surprised their families and friends!

Congratulations, Damien and Jian!

Late Update: Cassidi and Frank

On July 24th, Frank asked Cassidi to marry him. She said, "sure." (or, she wept joyful tears and declared loudly: yes!! same thing, right?)

Frank and Cassidi will be married in April 2011. (Cassidi is currently finishing her degree.) They are planning a lavish spring wedding!

Congratulations, Frank and Cassidi!

Lindsay and Blake

I met Blake in a falling down whorehouse that’s now a bar. It’s called Ernestine & Hazel’s. It’s on the corner of Main Street in Memphis. They serve soul burgers all day and night. It was a week before Thanksgiving. We talked for a while. The only thing I remember from our conversation was that he said: “I work in cotton.” And I said, “What like a cotton gin?” And he smiled at me. That was the first time I really noticed him even though we’d been talking for a while.
He left a little after midnight and my friend and I left shortly after. As we walked to her car, we saw him about a block ahead of us up the street. “BLAKE,” I shouted. He turned around. He waited for us to catch up.
He suddenly said, “Hey, would you guys want to come to my place for a drink? I just live right up here in the lofts.”
“How do we know you’re not some psycho that’s going to kill us,” I asked.
“I guess you don’t,” he said, “but I’ll tell you now my weak spot is my neck. If you jabbed me in the throat, I would go down in a second.”
We laughed and said alright and followed him to his loft. He concocted several drinks from pear schnapps and brandy and vodka. I settled for a Scotch, same as him. We had a cork fight. He collects corks from wine bottles in two big bowls that sit on the shelf in his kitchen. We found a cork just the other day under the couch from that cork fight. The three of us fell asleep on his bed, Blake in the middle. When I woke up in the morning, he had his arms wrapped tightly around me. Since that night, I have only slept in my bed in Memphis, alone, for one night, while he has been in town.
I can’t say it has been the most typical of loves. I can say I have never felt anything like it. I can’t say it’s been easy. But I can say it is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Frank and Cassidi

On July 21, 2006, I was working as a bartender for my second 8 hour shift of the day. Because I had already put in a full day's work, I was more easily angered than usual. I was sitting at the end of the bar, eating my dinner, and mentally preparing myself for the usual harrassment that happened every night I worked when he walked in with his friends. As soon as I saw him, I was immediately attracted to him. I got the butterflies in my stomach and was all embarrassed like a little school girl. When I went over to their table to take their drink order, the hoots and hollers started. I told the boys that I wasn't taking any bull that evening, and if they wanted to have a pleasant evening they could stay, but if they were looking for any trouble they needed to leave. So, he told me they would behave, and our first meeting started to take place. Throughout the evening there was constant conversation between us. We played a game where questions are thrown back and forth at each other, and true answers must be given. Also, there weren't allowed to be any repeat questions from the next person. We both learned many things about each other very quickly. For instance, we both found out that we could have possibly met on two other occasions, where we were in the same place at the same time. The first would have been when he was in college taking summer classes and I was visiting his college (still in high school) for a summer camp. The other time was earlier that summer at a Dave Matthews concert. There was definitely sparks from the beginning. As the night wore on, his friends were finally calling it a night, and he told me that he wanted my phone number. I refused, telling him that I never give my phone number to guys I meet at work. He then had the audacity to ask me if he could stay and help me clean up and then I could take him back to his friends house. Of course I denied this! Why in the world would I be alone in the wee hours of the morning, in an empty bar, with a man I don't know! So he paid the tab with a credit card, and when I took the slip from him, there was a piece of paper with it that had his name and phone number on it. Of course I was very excited, and fought the urge to call him on my way home. The next morning, I texted him, asking him if he remembered giving the bartender his phone number. He said he was very aware of his actions the night before, and we texted all day (because I was, of course, at my other job). So on Sunday, I let him take me out on our first date. I brought a friend, and he brought a friend, and he and I completely ignored our friends. We went to the movies (I don't remember any of the movie, I was completely infatuated by him...with his arm around me.) and then to dinner (I was so nervous I could only choke down a bowl of soup). As he was dropping me off in front of my mother's house at the end of the night, the bold man that he is, he asked me if I wanted him to kiss me next to his car, or on my doorstep. Because he told me that either way, he was GOING to kiss me. I had no choice. So, as flustered as I was, I leaned in and kissed him. Next to his car. With our ignored-all-night friends feeling awkward standing behind us. I just remember thinking to myself, "He has the best lips..."

So fast forward three years later. Two years of a long distance relationship (3 hrs apart). Only seeing each other on weekends. Talking until the wee hours of the morning when we weren't together. Holding each other as tight as possible on those nights when we were together. Then this past year, he bought a house for us to live in. Together. We have a puppy. And he is my best friend, my lover, my companion. He is my everything.

Damien and Jian

I met Jian last summer; we exchanged numbers and emails, started to open up ourselves to one another and went on a few dates. We got close. I was having a rough time at the start of this year, she helped me through it.
I was always looking forward to getting married again. I thought: she enjoys my company and encourages my filmmaking dreams, she would make a perfect wife - so I popped the question at a friend's concert. She thought about it, said yes, and we both argeed that we didn't want a big event, we picked a date without telling too many people.
She's smart, beautiful on the inside and out.
She has her career and I have mine; I know that she is the one for me and I am happy.

Damien and Jian were married March 27th, 2009.

T & B

I began sharing the same breathing space as B on September 11, 2004. Only neither of us remembers the other. I was new in town, back from NYC, and he was a homeboy. We were working at a large retail book seller, and the store was just empty shelves and excited book nerds at that point. We had about a month until opening. I remember him not at all during that first month, while he remembers random beaming smiles from me. Once our store opened, we breathed and worked in entirely separate sections (me in receiving, he on the book floor), he worked nights, I arrived at 7am (hard to believe, now that I don't often rise before 10am). Our ships didn't pass; I was sailing the Mediterranean, while he remained among the Atlantic. Months passed. Some time early in the new year, I was deemed appropriate for book floor work (either that or there was a blowup with some weird guy in receiving) and B and I began talking. We found out soon the things we had in common: Sinatra, old music and movies, reading (duh), playful wit... but that was it. (Although it always felt like we were flirting, fast forward, we probably were, he just had no idea) I knew nothing more and so I had my manager friend look into his personnel file - I HAD TO KNOW what sign I was dealing with (Scorpio)! I didn't really think much of our banter at first (plus I had a full-fledged flirt-fair with another guy going on at school). All I knew was that we spoke easily, we laughed a lot, had stuff in common, and he smelled DELICIOUS (he buys some great soap, apparently it was JFK's favorite). Another month or two passed by.
Some time in late March/early April (2005) I was walking from the self-help section over to fiction when he passed me and my whole body stopped, my mind was stuck on him and it suddenly struck me: I LOVE HIM. It seemed to come from nowhere, the reality of it, but really talking with him and getting to know him (you know, rather than DRINKING with him and hopping into bed with him) created this feeling.
I immediately began acting weird. I was nervous all the time, I mis-read, re-read, and translated his every action, word, sneeze, etc. I knew he loved me too. And then the next day I was certain he hated me and thought I was stupid or loose or wild or LIBERAL (I am - liberal).
It was suddenly hard to start conversations. I followed him throughout the store. I told EVERYONE who worked with us (a co-worker, JK, tells how on like her first night at work I walked into her department and promptly divulged our great love story to her, without solicitation). I asked my co-workers to ask him questions. All the while I thought he knew, believed he was sending me signs (he offered to lend me "The Departed" or "Kiss Me, Stupid" - I told him to decide and when he brought in "Kiss Me, Stupid" I was certain he meant it literally)... I had my Dad come in to check him out ... (boy I was creepy and my family, friends and co-workers are pretty caring, and creepy too).
I managed to meet a few other guys while still pining for B. There were some fun times and many drunk times, but still I could not forget him. In January 2006 I left to study in Italy. It was one of the best experiences in my life: a dream come true to live in Italy half a year and I also made some excellent friends. There were some handsome boys to keep me company too, but still I thought of B. He emailed once while I was away.
When I returned to the States I grudgingly went back to my job at the bookstore (if only to get me through my undergrad studies)... I promised to myself that I wouldn't get obsessed again with B. That worked. For about a week.
We hung out now and again with co-workers in the wee hours after the store closed, and while our banter grew once again nice and easy, I was also prone to fits of frustration and would "freeze him out" (his wording). I thought for certain he knew my feelings, either through my own actions or gossip of the store. I figured he was playing games with me (and so did some of my good friends). I tried and tried to rinse him from my heart, but it just wasn't meant to be.
In January 2007, a group of us met up for drinks. I brought along a date. B was there. After many, many drinks I decided I could hold it in not a minute more: I blurted to him that I was in love with him. When he didn't reply with similar sentiments I told him that I hated him.
Needless to say the night was a bit of a disaster.
The following Monday morning though I felt on top of the world readying for work. I figured it was out, what could happen now? Either he'd continue to get to know me better and then we'd be mutually in love, or he'd ignore me and I'd go on to drink myself to death (and write some dark poetry on the way out).
We decided to be adults about it and talk it over. And then we decided to become real friends who made plans and that sort of thing. B was very clear that he couldn't see himself dating a co-worker. That annoyed me - it's a BOOKSTORE, dude. But, being the bull that I am, I decided to begin looking for a new job. I found one and gave my notice. My last day at the store was 6/13/07.
Our first date was the 9th (I bent his morals).
Our first date we missed our movie because we were talking and talking, then we had an Italian dinner and chased a lightening storm while Ella and Louis sang to us.
Our first date turned into the Fourth of July, rained-out fireworks and a big pot in my living room to catch the drips.
Our first date turned into sleepovers...
Five hour phone conversations.
Weekends away.
Moving in.
Marriage.
It was bumpy getting here, but I love here - it's home.